The Most Elusive Resource

Within the last two months, I’ve had much more access to a resource that had previously eluded me.⁣ ⁣ TIME.⁣ ⁣ I didn’t know what to do with myself.⁣ ⁣ So...⁣ ⁣ I became the most dedicated ballet student I could possibly be, taking 1-2 classes per day, plus doing some sort of cross training.⁣ I dove head first into personal development and my own healing.⁣ I decided it was a good idea to relearn all the French I learned in high school, so I’m spending a lot of time on the Duolingo app.⁣ ⁣ On the one hand, I experienced some rapid improvement in my dance technique, some huge “AHA” moments and realizations about myself, and j’aime parler français avec ma mère.⁣ ⁣ On the other hand, not being used to so much down time, I found ways of keeping my mind busy enough to not have to deal with the discomfort of BEING.⁣ ⁣ I STILL managed to burn myself out and make myself sick despite the abundance of time.⁣ ⁣ I can see where I blamed lack of time for all my problems when it was really about my lack of PRESENCE.⁣ ⁣ Clearly, I don’t have this “down” yet. I’m uncertain that’s even a thing.⁣ ⁣ But this is where I am.⁣ ⁣ It’s messy, uncertain, uncomfortable, and actually quite invigorating.⁣ ⁣ And I wouldn’t have it any other way.⁣ ⁣ Magic wands and glitter bombs,⁣ Mallory