Today is a day that my brain is so full of the details, I question if I can hold it all. I question if I’m enough.
But mostly, I just want relief. I considered wine for breakfast before opting for the usual cup of coffee. A chat with a good friend this morning reminded me that I’m not alone, that everyone is feeling overwhelmed right now.
I’m sitting here going: how did “just two weeks” turn into almost five months? Was I complacent? Absolutely. Because most of what was going on just didn’t really affect me. I embraced the opportunity for my normal hermit nature to be part of the norm. I was actually a little bit upset about how my life DIDN’T change, when there were people hanging out at home, getting a paycheck, and complaining of being bored. Boredom is the emotional void from where creativity sprouts. And it’s a luxury many of us don’t have.
But eventually, even I got tired of not even being able to socialize the way that introverts do- via the library. So what does the universe deliver? A system where we can book time slots to spend time in there and browse. I also finally get to have dance classes with my favorite teacher ever at an affordable rate without having to travel two hours. That’s just heaven to me.
Mostly right now I’m annoyed that we can’t travel. I get why, but it takes a LOT for me to feel annoyed at anything that means I have to leave the house. So I can’t imagine how other people are feeling right now, the people who actually like to be outside doing stuff. I finally have a glimpse of understanding your way of life.
I appreciate so many of the changes of this new way of life. But right now, I am feeling the stagnant heaviness of energetic and mental overload. I’m about to put up my laptop and exercise to get this energy moving. By the way, I’m starting to understand why people get addicted to exercise; ME of all people! Today is one of those days where even though I’d like to just clear my schedule and go back to bed, I’m going to get up and get moving anyway. Something that I’ve come to realize in the most recent months is that self care doesn’t always have to do with doing what you WANT to do.
Just some random thoughts for the day. Photo Credit: Soupsane (Tumblr)
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