This is me, 9 years old.
This little girl knew her body was different from other girls’.
She believed all kinds of crazy stories about herself.
She believed her body had betrayed her.
She started retreating into herself, believing that if she could:
Develop her mind..
Cultivate her talents…
That if she could just look good enough on paper…
...then she could make up for the “sh*tty hand” she had been dealt in the physical body department.
Then she could finally be “enough.”
Fast forward to today. The woman I’ve become is pushing her body to its limits. She’s developing a relationship with her body based on love and acceptance.
I’ve experienced so often either being ignored in a class or being told “good job” instead of being given the valuable feedback I craved so that I could actually move and look like a dancer.
Since childhood, I’ve always been the biggest girl in the dance studio or on the gymnastics mat.
I didn’t like feeling like that or being treated like that, so I did what any shy little girl would do.
I quit.
And I regretted it, until I finally re-entered the dance world at age 30.
I will always be so appreciative of my current ballet teacher for never treating me like the fat girl in the room.
From day 1, she always seemed to intuitively know when I can be pushed and when I need to take it a little easier.
I love ballet because every time I dance, I’m reminded of how beautiful not just my body is, but how beautiful ALL BODIES are.
Every movement is an opportunity for me to be grateful for my body.
For its strength through the various abuses it has endured.
But mostly- for all of its KNOWLEDGE that it’s imparting on me on the daily.
And the more I listen, the higher I fly.
Magic wands and glitter bombs,
Mallory
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